Youre like my fridge: always full of yourself yet offering an abundance of empty calories. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. 20. It should be, you sap. 80. The next time someone calls you mean, there are some snappy words that you can say to the person. His passion for writing brought him to the Savannah College of Art and Design, where he studied writing. Dont be the person to initiate that. Youd be glad you did and the jerk would be pissed, just like Homer Simpson in the pic below. Next time someone tries to put you down, make sure to give them a taste of their own medicine. I think you just need a high five in the face with a chair. The real heroes in this world are the ones who have to live with you. If you were any more wrong, youd be right! Id hate to come across a universe where youre funny. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. This is an example of the wise saying you can reply to someone when they call you mean. 1. Whatever does not kill you disappoints me. Use the: 'your limited worldview reframing' Tip 3. Usually my rule is 3 strikes and youre out, but you were out of my mind as soon as you started spewing your bullshit. The following responses dont require wit, but do require a funny bone. Dont place your self-worth in others hands. You may not have pulled someones chair out right before they sat down so that they are laughed at as they fall on the floor. You have a very sympathetic face. Ditch the outfit. There are so many paths in life. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? Dont judge my path if you havent walked my journey, Comebacks When Someone Calls You A Copycat, Top Comebacks When Someone Calls You A Clown. Disclaimer | Advertise With Us. The "Real Housewives of Potomac" has fans riled up. Why dont you check eBay and see if they have a life for sale. Youre so ugly, you had tinted windows on your incubator. Meanwhile, it also serves as an explanation for why you might have sounded mean with your choice of words. ins.style.display='block';ins.style.minWidth=container.attributes.ezaw.value+'px';ins.style.width='100%';ins.style.height=container.attributes.ezah.value+'px';container.appendChild(ins);(adsbygoogle=window.adsbygoogle||[]).push({});window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'stat_source_id',44);window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'adsensetype',1);var lo=new MutationObserver(window.ezaslEvent);lo.observe(document.getElementById(slotId+'-asloaded'),{attributes:true}); At the page end, you can vote for your favorite comeback. is your butt jeasous of all the crap coming out of your mouth? I wish you no harm, but it would have been much better if you had never lived. READ THIS NEXT: 120 Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes. 79. So there you have it, some of the meanest comebacks you can say to put someone in their place. You are so old, even your memory is in black and white. Mirrors dont talk but lucky for you they dont laugh. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. for Winning Any Argument, 68 Adult Dirty Jokes So Racy You'll Want to Cover Your Eyes, 50 Funny Short Jokes That Guarantee a Laugh. It would be a great day if you accidentally used a glue stick instead of Chapstick. Everyone brings happiness to a room. Im sorry you were offended when I called you a h*e. I didnt know it was a secret. Tell me something if I didn't answer you the first time, what makes you think the next 25 attempts will work? That being said, allow me to redirect you to the discount section. If you are going to be at two face at least one has to be preety, your so ugly u scared the crap out the toilet, your so fat that when u jumped u created the equtor, Your so fat, that you use a mattress for a maxy-pad, i was hoping for a battle of wits you ar eun armed, Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo but don't worry I'm be there to not in a date but laughing at u, I bet I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a better argument than yours, Doop, you're so skinny you look like a piece of paper!!! 26. 38. You're the whole royal family. I dont exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, Id drink it. Id like to help you out. When they said grow a pair, they didnt mean for you to have kids. I forgot the world revolves around you. Be careful around the fire, plastic melts, 23. I'm the type of person to laugh at mistakes, so sorry if I laugh at your face. You are proof that God has a sense of humor. What could go wrong? 30. You are the exception to the rule. You hear that? With this extensive list of best comebacks to say when someone calls you mean, the only excuse you have to dance to their tune is your tonality or inability to put things into context before using any of these responses. Another comeback you can tell the person after he or she must have called you a mean person is to tell the person that the shoe also fits him or her. Funny, I dont remember you raising your hand. Amaranthine_rue 2 yr. ago. You're the reason God created the middle finger. Just check out the pic below. These are really good comebacks to shut up absolutely anyone. I dont know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! Hey, heres a hint. it looks like your face cought on fire and sombody exsigwished it with a hamer. Please tell me you dont home-school your kids. 56. I cant think of anything to celebrate on your birthday except you being closer to death. Just reminding u there is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness. Youre so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet. Make sure you commit these to memory. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that? 27. I know our son got his brains from you because, well, I still have mine. The sound of your urine hitting the urinal sounds feminine. Some of these seem like great options for those cold, rainy, or just plain boring days where the hours to fill seem endless. What Do You Call Someone Who Doesnt Want To Get Married? Roses are red, violets are blue, so many people are pretty, but what happened to you? Its rare when you show any. I thought of you all day today. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you abuse the privilege. You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back! Im sorry, I didnt catch that. You cant be a d*ck simply because you have one. This question needs no introduction as far as best comebacks are concerned. You must think youre strong, but you only smell strong. I really want out of this conversation. 15K subscribers in the Comebacks community. Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. Im sorry, I dont date guys who think that no means convince me. Then please check out these 35 funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes because theyre awesome. 3. By using this comeback, you are unleashing the meaner part of the mean you are being called, but for a good reason. Dont let your mind wander. You look like something that came out of a slow cooker. My straightener is hotter than you. You might even have some fun in the process. HmmI dont know what your problem isbut Im going to bet its really hard to pronounce. I would smack you, but I'm against animal abuse. Stay away from people who comment about your weight. Laughing or ignoring people can be great power moves, since they show that you're not easily intimidated. Had a laugh with our funny insults? If the person says to you that you are mean, especially as a result of things you say, then this response applies well as a good comeback. You fear success, but really have nothing to worry about. Some when they enter, some when they leave. Hey, I don't sugarcoat anything. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. "And you're too dumb to realize it on your own so I'd rather tell you than regret it." This might work in the right situations. The person pointing a finger at you and calling you might need to be reminded that he or she has got three other fingers pointing back at them. Oh, sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? If I ever said anything to offend you, it was purely intentional. Why didnt you choose the dark alleyway? The only person falling for you is blind. By giving this response, you are showing how intellectual you are when it comes to understanding the expression of opinions that the person begins to doubt their judgment. There was some terrible traffic accident on the news today. Youre an unscented candle in a store full of beautiful fragrances. Remember JESUS loves you but everyone else thinks youre an idiot. Do you want good comebacks? Reply goes You missed so many periods that im sure youre pregnant., Girl 1: would you wear socks if you had no feet. (25 Things! You dont know me, you just wish you did. Youre so fat, you have to use a mattress as a maxi-pad. The story of how my grandparents went on their first date has the greatest comeback ever. I clean up germs all day, but no matter how hard I scrub, youre still here. They said they were missing their town idiot, I couldnt really understand them, but I think they were saying the name was yours. Meanwhile, the person would naturally know that you are not asking this because you did not get it the first time. I Googled who gives a f*ck but my name wasnt in the search results, 21. Your parents, for one. 9 Comebacks for no one cares in any conversation. It must have been a long, lonely journey. He or she has no idea why you were mean. Must have been a long and lonely journey. Youll go far someday. Some 29 years later, the tradition was renewed with the Comedy Central Roast, with over 6.4 million viewers tuning in for its original debut. Feel free to share in the comments. Why dont you go outside any play, hide and go f**k yourself. I like how you look, but its too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? 82. You are like a software update. The series of mental backflips I had to do to try and understand your point should have broken my neck. Ever since I saw you in your family tree, Ive wanted to cut it down. Even a virgin chicken will agree that its a very. Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Dotdash Meredith Publishing Family. 3. Im sorry. Large and in charge isn't your excuse to be a fat asshole. When somebody. document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', function() { Im surprised you even know what that word means. [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. All rights reserved. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. You look like something that I would draw with my left hand. Whether you need something short, something witty, or something downright savage, we've got you covered. Me neither, 17. I don't even listen when you share them. I don't want to miss anything you have to say." or "I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. 12. What is your favorite insult or comeback? Hurting you is the last thing I want to do but it's still on the list. Oops, my bad. Funny Insults. I gave out all my trophies a while ago, but heres a participation award. The Village just called. You're certainly entitled to your incorrect opinion. He hasnt been back to visit since. If you ran 1,000,000 miles to see the boy/girl of your dreams, what would you say when you got there? I dont think youre stupid. Id give you a nasty look, but you already have one. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons? 78. The amount of meaningful things youve done in your life wouldnt be enough to fill a single page. My Mom said never talk to strangers and well, since youre really strange. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. Here is a list of the best baddie comebacks: "You're pale". Your face is so ugly, when you cry the tears run UP your face. But if they realize the context, then this response would give the impression that you dont care about being mean or not and so they should worry about other things like solving maths. I've heard a smarter statement come out in a fart. I like you just the way you are: uninspiring, uninteresting, and dreadfully unfunny. If I had a dollar every time you shut up, I would give it back as a thank you. The best part of you is still running down your old mans leg. It's all about balance you start talking, I stop listening. 85. You have a little bullsh*t on your lip. Why dont you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma? I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. Too bad there are also morons.". Im not going to repeat myself, but Im also glad to do anything that prevents you from talking. If by mean, the person means you do a thing to humiliate people because you want things to be done, then rather use the word action-oriented to correct the person instantly. Funny comebacks can be great for friends, siblings, and bullies. You bring everyone a lot of joy, when you leave the room. 3. Are you agitated and confused? If you're waiting for me to care, I hope you brought something to eat, 'cause it's gonna be a really long time. "I'd rather be pale than look like I rolled around in Doritos.". Youre so dumb, your dog teaches you tricks. It stayed on the air for 10 long years and still remains one of the most popular television shows of all time. You just have bad luck at thinking. Please do so and share it with all your friends today.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_5',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); To start the fun, enjoy an insulting quote from one of my favorite comedies. You know, you're just not pretty enough to have such an ugly personality. Am I getting smart with you? And, of course, roasts are a great way to put a pin in any conversation you don't feel like carrying on any further. But many other things can make people outrightly call you mean. While they can come in handy during unfortunate encounters with people you don't know, they're always best applied in conversations with people you do. A real low-life. Youre so ugly, when you got robbed, the robbers made you wear their masks. I'd take a photo of you, but I don't want a virus on my phone. B*tch, please, your vagina has been used more times than Google. 64. Remind them that your intentions are purely to say the truth and nothing more.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-banner-1','ezslot_10',119,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-banner-1-0'); It is a no-brainer that proverbs and witty sayings contribute a large part to some of the best comebacks in the world. Aside from trying to give comebacks, one of the natural things people do when they are called mean is to explain why they did what they did that made someone call them to mean. Dont get caught with nothing to say. Positive misinterpretation: giving positive meaning reframing Tip 5. Youre free to go. How many licks 'till I get to the interesting part of this conversation? Are you at a loss for words, or did you exhaust your entire vocabulary? Row, row, row your boat gently down a raging fucking waterfall. If you're not careful, your comeback can make the situation worse instead of better. I'm not a bakery. 5. 2. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. I'm listening. Cancel my subscriptions Im tired of your issues. My grandpa was working a sub shop at the register. You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place. With any luck, theyll think twice before trying to mess with you again. 8. You just live. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. God made mountains, god made trees, god made you but we all make mistakes. It is playing with words but it also sends meaning. yes you!! You dont need too many words to explain this, and you dont have to be too nice about it. Ordinarily people live and learn. navigator.sendBeacon('https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', payload); "Immature is a term used by boring people to describe fun people.". [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room] 1. Everyone brings happiness to a room. You just have bad luck when it comes to thinking. You are the architect of your life. When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror? You shouldnt play hide and seek, no one would look for you. We all sprang from apes, but you didnt spring far enough. You didnt fall out of the stupid tree. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. Do you like what you read so far? A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! Your brain is working overtime today. It is also an alternative way of saying tough men last longer. Lets go to the zoo. You were able to take control of a situation but the only way you could have done that was to be mean towards some set of persons. Perhaps you should eat make-up to look good on the inside as well. Being a d*ck wont make yours any bigger. Im sorry, I didnt hear you over the sound of how much I dont care. I wasnt born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you. We were going to roast you, but apparently, burning trash is an environmental hazard. Your mother left here at 9 this morning Leave me alone! When I see you coming, I get pre-annoyed. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. Changes are slated to take effect July 9. Do you want a kissy on your boo-boo? What you lack in intelligence, you more than make up for in stupidity. 37. Comebacks like "Make me" and "Ha ha ha" can be flirty since they provoke a response. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. 28. The trash gets picked up tomorrow. We collected some fresh material to help you roast your good friends so bad. Then please share this page now. If I wanted to hurt myself, I would simply jump from your ego to your IQ. So, a thought crossed your mind? No, keep talking. Don't worry the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest. I guess that means I cant talk to you! They can help you to stand up for yourself in the face of rudeness and put someone in their place. If I throw a stick, will you chase it? What are you doing here? 5 years old?" can disarm people quickly. Unfortunately, we've been married for 10 years.